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Pony Stories 52

24 Nov

Almost done with my thoughts about the batpony stories. This has really drove home the fact that a lot of stories I just don’t have much to say about. Especially the bad or mediocre stories. Next year I’m planning to keep a list of all the stories I read, but only do review type things for the ones that really grab me. Also going to start doing proper reviews with actual structure and at least somewhat objective analysis. Also will let me keep more current on my list of stories read instead of lagging behind because I have been slow on writing/typing up the reivew for each one.

Life of a Bat Pony by ConnVolpe

This story needed more space. It would have been great with more slice of life scenes of the main character’s life. Also, the author needs a little more practice writing. Still, good story if a little simple. It just needed more depth to the characters. I could see hints of that depth there, the characters seemed interesting, but giving them more scenes to develop them more fully would have been ideal. Plus the one scene of playing soccer was much too detailed, but that is just a nitpick.

Legend of the Thestrals by ShadowBrony

Interesting story. Very good look at what Princess Celestia might be capable of in a moment of intense grief. This is another story that felt incomplete. Though, this time it is mostly because it was sad and I would like there to be a second part of the story that at least softens things a bit.

Hidden Fangs by sharingan9001

This really felt like a piece of a bigger story. Even more so than others I’ve made similar comments about in this trip down batpony lane. The start of a sweet romance, or merely the premise for a adventure story, but it really feels incomplete. Plus not much batpony in it, the one batpony could easily be replaced by just about any other creature and the story would be the same.

A New Life of Darkness by Supersnot

Simple little story. Once again a fanfic puts a bit of crime into Equestria, but in a way that fits the aesthetic of MLP decently well. The thief doing a heist as a challenge of his skills, not out of malice or desperation. Another one that only has a token batpony presence. Don’t really want more from these characters or this story, but I would like to read more from this author.

Legends Of The Everfree by MLPxMaestro

Ouch. This was another one I just couldn’t finish. Just all around bad writing. Mixing up tenses between one sentence and another, choppy paragraphs preventing any kind of smooth flow of reading, saying instead of showing pretty much everywhere. I really hope this is a brand new author trying to write something for the first time because they don’t have any clue what they are doing. I would put money on they haven’t read anything on how to write, or even paid much attention to the books they read. Luckily, practice and a bit of studying should fix almost all of these problems and I think there was a decent idea for a story in here.

The Secret Darkness by Coppermane

Started somewhat decent, but bad writing increased as the story went on and I gave up on it. Not as bad as the other three I couldn’t finish, but this one caught me in the middle of depression so I moved on to the next story.

Mottled Shadow by Inkyarn

Bleh. Good writing from a technical perspective and a very strong start. However, the story takes a nosedive when Ponyville becomes a vengeful mob at the drop of a hat. No rhyme, no reason, the moment someone notices our main character is a batpony the entire town becomes a lynch mob hungry for blood and dead-set on burning a young colt to death. Also, before that, a nurse thinks he is just a kid in a really good Nightmare Night costume who passed out from stomach cramps from eating too much candy. When what really happened is he had been shoved off a cliff, hitting several rocks and trees on the way down, probably broke one wing and sprained at least one leg, then limped several hours to get to Ponyville before passing out from his injuries at the train station. But yes, I’m sure that major physical trauma is nearly identical to nausea from too much sugary sweets. Oh, and even before falling off a cliff he was suffering from very obvious malnutrition from months of a starvation diet since his hidden tribe doesn’t have enough to eat. The ending was a really awkward deus ex machina. I was actually hoping for the ending ‘and then he woke up and it was all a dream’ for most of this story. You know something has gone wrong when the reader is hoping for the most cliche ending possible because it would be better. I would totally believe that the first third or so of this story was written by someone else because the second half of it just falls apart on so many levels.

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Posted by on November 24, 2013 in Books 2013, Ponies, Reviews

 

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