Pony Stories 55

02 Dec

Catching up. Did eventually give the huge, long, incredibly long story a try so I’ve been drowning in that for a bit. Have this thing where I can’t take things in bite-sized chunks so something this long pretty much consumes my free time while I’m working at it. Fallout Equestria was the same way, but I enjoyed that one. Anyway, first a few of the short stories I finished before jumping into the huuuuge story. Fun fact learned: 1 million words is way, way too long for a story.

B.B.B.F.F.B.R. by 8686

This was a fun one. A comedic slice of life that nails all the characters pretty much perfectly. Another interesting look at Big Mac’s character, what he might be like when you get past the running joke the show uses him for. Great look at the family relationships involved, character studies on both Big Mac and Shining Armor. Would point nearly all the authors I was reading during the batpony contest at this story as an example of how to do slice of life right. Not that is was perfect. Even this had a few moments of clumsy telling instead of showing, but even then it was handled well enough that it wasn’t jarring.

Cloud Stories by Bob From Bottles

Fun story. Nice comedic slice of life, sort of. Might be better to call it just light comedy? Anyway, this was fun to read. The pegasi controlling the weather is still one of the best worldbuilding bits in MLP. Manual control of weather and seasons just has so much potential to mess around with in a story both for humor and for serious drama. This story has none of the latter in it.

An Earth Pony Orphan In The Unicorn Court by Benman

Augh! This was much too short. Just as the story was getting good it ended. Wanted more. So, good story. Good exploration of a world far before the show, before even the three types of ponies joined together as one kingdom. Good stuff. Really wish this was a novel length story. It would make a awesome start to a proper epic fantasy story set in pre-Equestria MLP. Ah well. Better this than a huge story that needs to be cut to about a third of its length.

Legacy by SweetieBotError

Interesting alternate history for the early years of Equestria. Did like that the batponies were exiled for trying to bring about eternal night long before Princess Luna did. It hints that there is some other force that is trying to manipulate things to drag the world into darkness. The star spirits from Fallout Equestria perhaps. This was a decent story with too many typos, lots of misspelled words, missing letters, or the wrong word being used. The author has decent skill at storytelling, but seriously needs a qualified proofreader before uploading his work.

Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons

Guh. Over a million words and still not finished. I gave up near the end of the file I had downloaded. Most of the story I was really hoping I got the entire thing, wish I had just checked the last chapter in the file and given up earlier. This is a fanfic, or side story, by someone else but set in the same post-apocalyptic world as Fallout Equestria. Which I will say here, and again in the future, is one of the best stories I have ever read. This one… Doesn’t get in shouting distance sadly. There is a lot of nitpicks I could list for this story. Lots of little flaws, and given it’s length a list of it’s nitpick flaws could be a novel in itself. Mostly it comes down to the author has no idea how to pace things, and has no idea how to edit things down. This is a story that is almost stream of consciousness. I would doubt that the author has done the trick of writing a brief description of each chapter and arranging them to see how the story flows. Each chapter gets edited and the author isn’t a bad writer, but it is pretty clear that he is just writing each chapter, editing it, then putting it up which no real feel for pacing for the story as a whole. The other big annoying thing is it really does fell like he read the original world FO:E and just said ‘this is awesome, I should write up a story like this with everything turned up to eleven!’. Stuff copy-pasted from the original, then stuff that is basically just the same things but twisting all the dials to max. Some of it gets better. As the story goes on (and on, and on, and on) more originality shines through. Several of the characters are interesting and there is cool ideas in here. The single most frustrating thing is that just a few little changes would make this story great. If I could get the author to go back and edit/rewrite the thing from the beginning, it could easily be good enough to be on a shelf next to Fallout Equestria. Not quite as good, but a excellent companion work. Most of the editing would be chopping out so much of it. Seriously, this story is going to be longer than the entire Harry Potter franchise and have about as much plot as a single book. Fallout Equestria was long, but I always wanted to know what would happen in the next chapter. This is (probably going to be) three times as long, and I want to know how it ends, but I don’t care what happens next. If I still care when it does finish up, I’ll have to track down a simple summary.


Posted by on December 2, 2013 in Books 2013, Ponies, Reviews


6 responses to “Pony Stories 55

  1. Soge

    December 11, 2013 at 7:30 am

    About FoE:PH, there was actually a fairly substantial rewrite of the first 6 or so chapters. They used to be about the length of the first FoE chapters, but around chapter 30 or so the author decided to go back and rewrite the chapters to make them substantially longer. I think it is a case of the “Wheel of Time” syndrome, where an author is so enamored with the ideas he has come for the world he has built that he feels the need to put all of them in the text.

    In my opinion, FoE:Ph is the kind of fic that needs to be consumed episodically, reading one or two chapters per week at most. Otherwise it is just too much. And there are good things there, such as the expanded development on the Goddess, or Blackjack’s companions. Some of the action scenes are also very cool, and later on there is a focus on analyzing the consequences of the hero walking around murdering enough people to be considered a natural disaster.

  2. Present Perfect

    December 11, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    Never fear, I know there’s more “Earth Pony Orphan” ahead. It’s sort of book 1 (albeit rather short to be called a ‘book’) in a planned series of self-contained pieces.

    And someone who actually likes FoE saying PH is too much? Okay, that’s all the reason I needed to never, ever, ever read that story.

    • Griffin

      December 11, 2013 at 1:22 pm

      There is a good story in Project Horizons, it’s just buried under a lot and a lot and a lot of almost stream of consciousness style padding. One of the problems with writing a story one chapter at a time.

    • Anonymous

      December 11, 2013 at 1:26 pm

      Hey, PH is not bad, PP. I bet you would have fun doing one off your vs series.

      • Present Perfect

        December 11, 2013 at 4:50 pm

        NO I would NOT, that shit is TWICE AS LONG AS FOE and not done yet D: I am never reading it

      • Griffin

        December 11, 2013 at 5:09 pm

        And it’s written by someone who loved everything you hated about FO:E so they put five times as much of that stuff in it.


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