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Pony Stories 79

06 Mar

Ahem. So, about Long Story Went Down. First, I think I’m going to start referring to it differently each time I mention it. Six words, abbreviations, and random author names for it? I could talk about it forever and never use the same name for it twice, thus confusing everybody. I wouldn’t say I love it, just that it’s a fun story to compare to others. A landmark story, if you will. Fun to see the author’s behind-the-scenes blogpost though. Always like seeing how other people do the creative stuff. But yeah, you can’t really do deep analysis on it, but it’s fun to toss in as a drive-by comparison with other stories. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Also rambling about it was a good way to fill up a intro paragraph when I’m writing a whole bunch of posts in a short timeframe to spread out over the next week and I ran out of interesting thoughts like halfway through the first one I did.

A World Without Rainbows – Act I: The First Breach by uberPhoenix

Started slow, but by the end I really wanted to know what happened next. This story has a interesting take on the alternate worlds scenario. Not going to spoil it, but when it gets to the details of Twilight Sparkle’s switch it was neat. Also thought Pinkie Pie was handled well. In the other world where things are not so idyllic, Pinkie Pie is not the enthusiastically bouncy party pony she is in the show. Yet the author manages to keep the off-kilter oddness of her intact with her reaction to all the alternate timeline weirdness. This story isn’t perfect, some of the characters are a tad rough, Applejack gets angry too abruptly for plot reasons for one. I would have switched Applejack and Rarity’s roles in the plot myself. I think it would have worked a lot better that way. That is a really minor nitpick though. Going to read the next part of the story and already I’m disappointed that the third part isn’t complete yet so I’ll have to wait for it if part two is as good.

A World Without Rainbows – Act II: The Twilight Hour by uberPhoenix

The Doctor Whooves bits are a little jarring. Well, really jarring actually. If you don’t like Dr Who references in your pony fan fiction you will not like this one. Also seems to be a older Twilight Sparkle from the future gallivanting around that is more of a distraction than anything. This one is similar to the first one in that is starts a bit slow, but at the end I wanted to know what happens next. The author just needs more practice with pacing at the beginning of a story I guess. In a bigger sense I think it is a sign that I’ve run into something else that would have worked better as a single long story. This and the previous story are very obviously a single narrative instead of two separate-but-related stories. This is a cautionary tale, along with Journey Of Graves and Project Horizons, about the problems of not outlining the full story before starting.

This one isn’t so bad, but if the author had done a full story outline it could have been a single big story on fimfiction instead of each part being published separately. Of course, then I wouldn’t have read it until it was finished, so maybe that’s not the best way to get it out. Since I’m running into similar troubles with my own for-money writing, it has been instructive to have it pop up in my reading material. I’ve been doing interconnected short stories that I hope build up to full novel length stories, but I’ve been doing them one at a time with no real over-arching outline or plan. Now I have to wait until part three is finished to find out what happens next. Since I doubt that part three is going to wrap things up (I would guess at least two sections to go at the current pacing) I’ll also have to wait until part four gets completed as well to see how it all ends. It has been a good alternative universe story and I’ve been liking the author’s style (for the most part) so I suspect it will be worth it in the end, but I’m not the most patient person.

Rainbow Dash, Please Describe Red by x Silver Tongue x

Eh, technical stuff got in the way of my reading enjoyment for this one. Poor wording, wrong words, missing puncuation. Not a lot of it, but enough that I wanted to make it the first thing you read in this review-ish thing here. Really it was minor stuff, but the writing isn’t good enough to immerse me enough to ignore it. Also a semi-contradiction at one point. Rainbow Dash has been at the hospital enough that the question/response part between Twilight Sparkle and Nurse Redheart is basically a vaudeville act, yet they’ve never done a basic color exam? Even though that it seems to be a part of the basic physical check-up they seem to do every time Rainbow Dash comes in after crashing into something. The story also stops right when it gets to what I would consider the good part. The whole joke is Rainbow Dash, with rainbow of colors in her mane and tail, is colorblind. I would have loved to get more reactions to it. Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash talking about it. Or maybe even just more physical tests of strength/speed/whatever before getting to the eye stuff. See how awesome Rainbow Dash is before getting to the joke. Also, and this occurred to me later, color blindness would be a horrible condition in the MLP world. Picture watching the show where everything is barely different shades of grey. You wouldn’t be able to tell most of the ponies apart from each other!

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5 Comments

Posted by on March 6, 2014 in Books 2014, Ponies, Reviews

 

5 responses to “Pony Stories 79

  1. Pascoite Fics

    March 6, 2014 at 7:24 am

    As someone who is colorblind, I can say I see most of the colors in the show fine. It’s rarely more than a handful of colors that are hard to tell between, and at least for me, if it’s a bright enough shade, I can see it. I haven’t read this particular story, but maybe I should. I did my own related take on it in “The Colors of a Rainbow.”

     
    • Griffin

      March 6, 2014 at 5:39 pm

      Well, the colorblind in this story is ‘every color is a bland grey’ sort of thing.

       
  2. mistertulip

    March 6, 2014 at 8:11 am

    The reason Please Describe Red seems to end at a bad point is because you apparently broke your normal rule of only reading finished stories for it; it’s still labeled as incomplete on fimfiction.

     
    • Griffin

      March 6, 2014 at 5:36 pm

      That would do it. I really need to be more careful in checking that. So, might turn out to be pretty good when it is finished.

       
  3. Present Perfect

    March 6, 2014 at 9:33 am

    I’ve seen an image of what the show looks like to someone who’s red/green colorblind. Lots of greys and off-greens.

     

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