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Pony Stories 159

18 Jun

Another day, another couple of pony fanfic reviews. Before we get to the main event, some babbling about my trip. The comic convention was interesting. Turns out the Denver Comic-Con is flippin’ huge! Not that I saw much outside of artist’s alley, but a lot of the cons I go to would fit in just the dealer’s room of comic-con. Was pretty educational for what will and won’t sell at that sort of place. Trivial lesson of the weekend: Apparently the superhero Power Girl is unrecognizable without her cleavage showing. My friend had a print of her with a redesigned costume that was somewhat practical and got nearly a dozen ‘who is that’ questions from people who knew who she was when we said the name.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving by Pascoite

Decent story. Pinkie Pie seemed out of character though. I just can’t see her getting this worked up and frustrated and depressed over something like this. Twilight, sure. Rarity, absolutely. Fluttershy, heck, that was in the show with Philomena. Pinkie is much more upbeat. Even if she got all depressed while trying to figure out the cake, I would have figured she would have popped back to her cheerful self when she figured out what her gift to the princesses was going to be.

Love By Proxy by Pascoite

This is a really good start to a slightly longer romance. Well-written, the characters all are, well, in-character without being exaggerated. Recommended for anyone who likes little slice-of-life romances, though no actual romance happens in the story. Just really wish this was chapter one of a longer story. Lots of implied characterization that I’d love to see get explored further.

Canon by Pascoite

Very nice read. Not what I was expecting pretty much up to the end. One of the themes in here is about perception and assumtions. A minor theme, but a short work like this doesn’t exactly have much room for a big theme. I would recommend this one. It’s pretty much just a slice of life. No real story. No real beginning or end, though there is a character arc for our viewpoint pony, but mostly it’s just a little bit of life drifting by.

In the Pale Moonlight by LDSocrates

Another romance that I liked. This time the pairing of Rarity and Princess Luna. Which is one I’ve run across once or twice in fan fiction before this, but it’s certainly not a common pairing. Which is a pity because I think it works pretty well. It had a few bumpy spots. Especially in the first half it felt like some non-essential scenes were missing. There was a skeleton of a story there that worked fine, but it could have used a few more character and relationship building scenes.

The Father of My Children by The Descendant

Really, really good. This got a strong emotional reaction from me, which hasn’t happened while reading a fanfic for a while. Lots of shipping and romance fanfics are about the start of a relationship. Even ones that say they are about ponies who have been together for a while usually lack any real emotional weight. This one manages just that. Lots and things I could say, but I want to avoid spoilers because this story is all about the flow and slow buildup/reveal/context/etc. So I will limit my comments to a bit about the very end. The second to last paragraph that is Pinkie Pie returning home managed to have more character exploration in just a few lines, more than most stories manage with thousands of words. This author, as usualy, is very good at what he does.

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2 Comments

Posted by on June 18, 2014 in Books 2014, Ponies, Reviews

 

2 responses to “Pony Stories 159

  1. Pascoite Fics

    June 18, 2014 at 8:03 am

    Thanks for your thoughts. “Love by Proxy” was written for a prompt exchange thing, so I didn’t put too much effort into it. It’s nothing that I’ll ever try to get on Equestria Daily, for instance, but I did like the nature of the conflict enough that I recycled it into “The Art and Science of Letter Writing,” if you’ve ever read that one.

    For “The Gift That Keeps On Giving,” I could see Pinkie going either way. I wouldn’t begrudge anyone who thought she’d be more upbeat in the situation, but I could also see her as being really nervous that she’d gone out on such a limb. She was taking a big risk, and she didn’t know how it would be received, particularly since she had to present it in public.

    There’s a little bit of an interesting story behind “Canon.” I originally wrote it because I’d listened to someone else ramble on about how he was going to write a very technical story about Octavia, and I thought he was handling it wrong. So to prove a point, I entered an early version of this story in a minific contest with a 600-word limit (it’s one of the chapters of my anthology “Tales of Interest!”) with the aim of overloading it with jargon so that it would lose readers. But it did a lot better than I thought it would. It finished 10th out of 30 or so entries, so it proved my point a little, but then made me want to explore how to use jargon in a way that was accessible to the reader. From that, I fixed up this story and ended up writing a guest column for Chris’s blog on the subject of effective use of jargon. So on rewrite, my goal was to make the jargon useful. In short, I tried to make it so the meaning was clear in context or that it built up her character (since she’s essentially speaking to herself, she has no need to dumb down her language). While it did attract a more musically inclined audience, it still seems the general readership enjoyed it. It’s also more about appreciating why an artist does what she does, which I hoped would resonate with other fanfic writers.

     
    • Griffin

      June 18, 2014 at 12:08 pm

      Cool. I did enjoy all of them, as I have enjoyed most of your stories that I have read. Looking forward to seeing what you put out next.

       

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