Pony Stories 266

08 Nov

I’m enjoying the longer stories. It’s kind of like a pendulum. I spend lots of times reading really short stuff, then rediscover what I like about longer stories. Then after a while of longer stuff I come back to the stuff I enjoy in the shorter stuff. Round and round it goes. Of course the shorter stuff helps me cut away the read later list a lot more effectively.

  • Sweet Celestia by Rust
  • From Sky to Earth by RaijingtheClockworkPony
  • Upheaval: Breaking Point by Visiden Visidane

Sweet Celestia by Rust

Another lost review re-written. This was pretty good. A nice semi-mythic telling of the fall of the Crystal Empire. An interesting look at how Celestia and Luna might have been like much earlier in their lives. I do like how Celestia started the story in self-isolation. It seems a very plausible reaction she would have to her immortality after a few millennia of trying to interact with mortals.

From Sky to Earth by RaijingtheClockworkPony

This needs an editor really bad. Typos and wrong words are regular in the early parts of the story. The writing itself apart from that isn’t all that great either. Lots of telling, not much showing. Plus almost non of the dialogue sounds like how actual people speak. Most of what the characters say are just cliche statements. The story isn’t a trainwreck or anything. It would take a few minor tweaks to get it fixed up into something fairly presentable. On the other hand I didn’t finish it because of how shallow it was.

Upheaval: Breaking Point by Visiden Visidane

This was an impressive story. I’d put it right up there with The Immortal Game. Same genre and everything. It has creative worldbuilding and does a good job of adding violence into the MLP world without changing anything we see in the show. It goes a little far in making Equestria a idyllic peaceful place in my opinion, but that wasn’t a deal-breaker for me with all the other good stuff it gives us. A lot of my final verdict will come at the end of the series. The second story just finished yesterday (as of writing this anyway) so I will be reading that quite soon. Lucky timing on my part. I kind of doubt that will be the conclusion though. It’s got a epic fantasy trilogy feel to it. If the second story is as good as the first I think this deserves a spot as a classic, one of the better works of the fandom for sure. As I started with, this is very similar to Immortal Game. So if you didn’t like that you probably won’t like this.

The story is not without its flaws. It tends to be a bit tell-y in places. The pacing drags along here and there. Most of the characters, even the mane six, and what I like to call 2.5 dimensional. Not two-dimensional cardboard cutouts, but they don’t quite make fully realized characters either. They are just a bit cliche and simplistic in places, but don’t manage to be strong enough presences to pull off being archetypes either. Still, if you like epic fantasy you should check this out.


Posted by on November 8, 2014 in Books 2014, Ponies, Reviews


7 responses to “Pony Stories 266

  1. Soge

    November 8, 2014 at 9:48 am

    Upheaval: Breaking Point is indeed pretty neat. I recommend you hold on reading Reckoning though, since it seems to be going through some overall revamping right now, and might be a pretty different story soon enough.

    By the way, Visiden Visidane also posts some reviews occasionally.

    • Griffin

      November 8, 2014 at 10:14 am

      Well, too late on that first bit. I read them more or less back to back about a week ago.

  2. Present Perfect

    November 8, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Ugh. I wonder if I should try Upheaval again, if only so I can figure out just why I could never get into it.

    • Griffin

      November 8, 2014 at 11:08 pm

      Yeah, I can see how it could fail to grab a reader. The start is a bit abrupt and you have to meet it halfway for longer than most stories require before it supports a sense of disbelief itself. I would be curious to find out what about it pushed you away though.

      Breaking Point, the first story, is basically *boom* Everything you know about Equestria is wrong! Violence! Killing! Murder! Twilight Sparkle is psychologically scarred! Princess Celestia is lying to everypony! There’s a third Alicorn now and it’s a guy! More violence! Betrayal! Huge battle scene! Run away! Now all of the mane six is banished from Equestria forever! Things on fire! Nightmare Moon, but with Fire!

      …writing that was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Also isn’t in the right order, but editing that would just be silly.

      • Present Perfect

        November 9, 2014 at 9:55 am

        That all sounds terrible. <.< Yet I seem to recall the OCs being the "breaking point" for me, if you will. I don't I ever got past the first three chapters.

      • Griffin

        November 9, 2014 at 10:11 am

        I’m playing up the badness for comedy. However, the OCs were some of the weaker parts. I mostly liked it for the worldbuilding stuff. Plus if you go with the basic assumptions, the plot actually flows pretty well. After the very first plot event, pretty much everything actually flows from various character motivations and cause and effect. There is almost no ‘this happens because the plot says so’ type of stuff.

      • Professor Whooves

        November 10, 2014 at 3:24 am

        I stuck around until the alicorn OC before dropping the fic. I liked “TIG”, though, so I might give this another shot.


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