Pony Writing episode fix

05 Oct

Going to be on a trip for a couple of days. To the sunny hell-hole of Miami Florida. I really don’t like heat. I am sure it’s a nice place, and has some interesting places to visit, but I’ve been there twice now and each time it’s been a horrible experience anytime I had to be outside because my brain shuts down when I’m too hot and it’s waaaaaay too hot down there.

Anyway, here is a bit of my usual unedited writing. This time a response to the recent episode Made In Manehatten. I know I didn’t get Applejack right. I really am not very good at character voice, and probably wouldn’t make much effort for this even if I had some skill in that area. Was done as last night’s writing hour 1k+ words subject.


Applejack spread her wings in amazement. Becoming a princess was even more amazing than she had anticipated. Twilight and her other friends had tried to explain it, but listening to a description was nothing close to feeling the will of harmony reshaping your body and letting her pony spirit express itself fully. It had been expected of course. Once Twilight had become a princess they all thought that it had been her destiny along with her being the element of magic. When Pinkie Pie became an Alicorn, well, nopony wanted to think deep thoughts about the forces of the universe that wanted that to come about. Then Rarity, and they all realized that harmony intended them to all ascend and become the harbringers of harmony and light throughout the world for all time. It was all very impressive and amazing.

The others thought that Applejack had figured it out first. Even before Pinkie Pie managed the transformation. Because not long after a certain trip to Manehatten she had started studying unicorn magic. At this point Applejack knew almost as much about unicorn magic as Twilight had when she first arrived at Ponyville. The farm pony had studied for a much longer stretch of time. Needing to keep it to evening reading sessions after work and family. Not that she ever gave up trying to understand. Everypony thought she was a bit odd wanting to study such a… non-working-pony field, but Twilight was happy to have someone to talk magical theory with. One Applejack got that far. Not that Applejack ever told anypony, not even her family, why she wanted to study. Trying to pass off her interest in magic as just a bit of fun speculation. After the time loops they got stuck into that led Rarity (and her eye for trivial fussy details) to become a princess it was much easier to wave off her interest in time travel magic. She was in no rush. If it worked, it wouldn’t matter how long it took her to figure it out. Applejack was nothing if not a persistent hard worker after all.

Now, with all three forms of pony magic flowing through her body, it was time to finally accomplish the all-important task that had consumed every stray thought for decades. Even before Pinkie Pie could start the party congratulating her ascension (she could sense the alicorn magic bringing Pinkie Pie’s alicorn party supplies from the pocket dimension she was keeping them now that her parties were too magnificent to be stashed in where ever she was hiding them before her transformation) Applejack lit up her new horn. Her unicorn magic wasn’t exactly what she had imagined it would feel like, but she could use it. A flash of light blinded everypony, her friends cut off from asking what she was doing. She’d be back in a moment by their perceptions anyway.

First, back to that trip to Manehatten to that one particular evening. Right before the trash collectors went down the street. Grabbing a certain item and then flashing backward a few months to an average day in Ponyville. A hint of disguise magic to conceal her wings and horn as she walked into Rarity’s boutique.

“Welcome to- Oh, hi Applejack! What can I do for you?” Rarity said as she heard the bell on the door and came out of her work room.

Applejack smiled and pulled out the object she had saved. Even as she felt a little bit of strain at maintaining the same item in two places at once. “Hi Rarity. I was hoping you could fix this?”

“Oh dear! Of course, Darling. I haven’t seen a hat of yours in such a state before. Won’t take but a moment.”

Applejack couldn’t help but smile as she watched a much younger Rarity going into her workroom. The farm pony could feel her friend’s magic. Marveling at just how impressive it was. She had always known Rarity had impressive skill (for a non-Twilight pony) but seeing all those objects floating around was not as impressive as feeling all the fine weaves of Rarity’s magical aura guiding every little bit. Then the flash of magic as Rarity use her mending spell to make the hat as good as new now that she had gotten the patches in place for the materials. She smiled as she came back out and Applejack’s hat floated out beside her.

“Now, I knew you wouldn’t want any flourishes on one of your work hats. But I could just put a little?” Rarity tried giving Applejack those sweet begging eyelash flutters. The ones that got to Applejack so often, but that Rarity wasn’t this one so Applejack resisted.

“Now, Sugarcube. You know I like my hat the way it is. Thank you kindly.”

Applejack almost left right there, but remembered that disappearing in a flash of magic would be exceedingly strange. Even for a typical day in Ponyville. So she scooted out of the boutique and ducked into an alley before twisting the time travel magic once more. Ending up on that fateful day in Manehatten once again. This time in the morning. Concealing herself in a more complex illusion to render herself invisible. She should use her wings to fly and stay out of the walking ponies on the sidewalk, but she wasn’t anywhere confident enough about flying. So she spent a few hours (she overshot her arrival a little) dodging ponies while waiting near a hat stall vendor. Only using her magic to quickly swap out the hat she got repaired for another one just as the play got started. Keeping one eye on the vendor cart to make sure nopony bought that particular hat. Though some of her attention was on the younger version of herself and Rarity sitting together. She might have to spend a bit more time visiting her friends when they were younger just out of nostalgia.

The play ended and she felt the warm glow of Harmony swirling around her younger self and Rarity. Watching as their cutie marks glowed to tell them their quest had been successful. Then they left, Rarity grabbing the torn-up hat off the younger Applejack’s head and tossing it in the trash. She had to suppress a little frown, just as she did back then. Though now, as then, she was so full of happy success that it didn’t show outwardly at all. A smile spreading across her face as she watched Rarity’s magic pull the hat she planted to put it on her younger self’s head.

Only then did she release the time travel spell and return to where her friends were just finishing their questions about what she was doing.

“Rarity, sugarcube.” Applejack turned to Rarity. “Don’t ever throw away my father’s hat. It’s kind of a family heirloom.”

Rarity blinked in confusion. Everypony else just stared befuddled. Except for Pinkie Pie, who twitched and then fell over laughing.

1 Comment

Posted by on October 5, 2015 in My Writing, Ponies


One response to “Pony Writing episode fix

  1. iisawiisaw

    October 6, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    Applejack IS the sort of pony to plan ahead! XD


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