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Pony Stories 779

05 Aug

Well, another day and another blog update.

  • Gnosis by Morning Sun
  • Know Thyself by Jay-The-Brony
  • Pink, Fuzzy Alicorns Dancing on Hobos by Star Destroyer
  • Green by Steel Resolve

Gnosis by Morning Sun
Was interesting. A story told in little clips of scenes from several perspectives. I quite enjoyed it. Though the author’s note at the end has me confused and wondering what I missed in the story. So… Read it with the knowledge that there might be something a bit deeper than the surface of what is presented? Honestly it kind of bothers me because either the author is warning me about something that’s so obvious I just thought it was part of the story, or I missed something the author thinks is very important and just can’t find it even on a second reading. So… Good story, ruined just a little bit by a pre-emptive author’s note at the end?

Know Thyself by Jay-The-Brony
Huh. An interesting look at the siren Adagio post-defeat, but not about recovery or anything, just happens after the movies. Aaaand… that’s about it? Honestly not sure what to say. Interesting concept, decent writing, a functional but not gripping story? Most of that last bit probably is just personal taste.

Pink, Fuzzy Alicorns Dancing on Hobos by Star Destroyer
This was terrible, hilarious, and just plain wacky. Would I recommend this? …probably not. Would you enjoy reading it? …only if you are a terrible person, like me apparently. The last line was funny as heck though.

Green by Steel Resolve
Was going to just copy/paste the three already written review-ish bits above and call that a blog post. Then I remembered that I offhandedly told someone I’d be putting up my thoughts about this story today. So I probably should do that. This was one of those tricky stories in that the basic reaction was pretty good: It’s a good story and I’d recommend it for anyone who likes the idea of nearly 500,000 words of shipping. However, I had lots of nitpicks and just annoyances so that if I talk about the story in more depth it’ll sound like I didn’t enjoy it because all my in-detail stuff is complaints. So, the off the top of my head stuff first.

It’s a good story. A bit long. A bit repetitive in places. Worth all the little annoyances in the end in my opinion.

Yet… Those annoyances should be spelled out as warnings. The length is, well, it’s a half-million words and it does drag at times. Had a fairly slow start even though the actual relationship kicked in sooner than I thought given the story length. For the first 40% of the book I was checking my kindle lower left corner for the percentage read number and it seemed to craaawl by. I’d read read , 4% done, then read read read read… 6% done, read read read read read read read read 7% done. Until it hit about the 40-45% mark. I checked at about 45%, read, 67%, read, 85%. So the first half dragged and the second half went much faster. Not that it seemed to take less time mind you. Just wasn’t checking the amount read as often between pages.

The other thing I gotta warn about is that this 400k word story is like 300k words of about 2/3rds of the character in deep angst worry that they aren’t good enough for the one they love. So much self-esteem problems. So much. Tens of thousands of words of it. Over and over. Also not talking. Gotta keep your pain to yourself so it doesn’t affect the perfect divine lovely beauty you are in love with. Which is only literal in one of the relationships in the story. I hope you like incredibly neurotic Twilight Sparkle!

For even more minor bits, having the entire mane six pair up with each other always feels a bit too narrative-forced to me. Only story I saw where it worked out was actually just a few chapters in a bigger story where the elements had influenced the six of them to pair up. Without that thematic current I can’t help but feel that at least *one* of them would find love outside that circle.

Oh! I really did enjoy what the author did with Princess Luna. Was surprised where that went, happily so. I think Princess Luna had the best character arc in the story.

If we could somehow find the perfect platonic ideal of an editor and have them trim this story down to like 200,000 words it would be one of my all time favorite fanfics. As it stands, it’s above average and straddles the shipping/romance line. Slow start, good finish, the middle meanders but is never completely pointless. I did end up skimming most of the sex scenes even though they weren’t gratuitous. They were all very tastefully done. Just not my bag of horsefeed, to stretch a metaphor. It should be on your to-read list, but it’s okay if you take a while to get around to it. Or even if you read the beginning between and around other stories until it grabs you.

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2 Comments

Posted by on August 5, 2017 in Ponies, Reading 2017, Reviews

 

2 responses to “Pony Stories 779

  1. steelresolvefimfic

    August 5, 2017 at 3:02 pm

    Thanks for the excellent feedback. While I don’t see rewriting Green, I strive to learn from my mistakes, although that’s difficult when most of my comments are purely about what people enjoyed.

    Green is basically my history as a writer. I’m glad to hear that you found it improving as you read along. The one thing I’d hate to hear is that I got worse.

     
    • Griffin

      August 5, 2017 at 3:10 pm

      I think the one piece of advice I’d give, to boil down the criticism, is that you should be a bit more careful about repetition. Granted that is a bit harder to do when it’s a 400k word story written over 5 years, but something to keep in mind.

       

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